Last week we returned from our trip to Colombia. I had booked this trip much earlier in the year thinking that by the time Nouri was one, we would be ready for a break and a little adults-only time. As the trip neared, we started to get worried that we wouldn’t enjoy it without having Nouri around. Although we ended up missing her a lot, I am so glad that we took some time to ourselves. It was reassuring that throughout the trip I was constantly thinking, “Definitely couldn’t do this with a baby!” From uneven sidewalks, to long travel days, to excursions down rivers and up forts, there were so many things that would have been downright impossible with a baby in tow.
As the trip was approaching, we became nervous that Nouri would take her first steps while we were away. She was showing all the signs of being ready to walk but wasn’t making that final push. Luckily, about five days before we were set to leave, she took a few steps. Two days later, she was full fledged walking all over the place. Her Aunties told us that she had spent all day in daycare just walking from one place to another. Once she figured out she could do it, she was a baby on a mission! I’m so glad that we are able to be there for that awesome milestone!
We had also worried a lot about how Nouri would cope without us. Would she cry at night when she realized that she wasn’t going to see us that day? Or maybe the next morning when she woke up and realized that we weren’t there to cuddle her? Or just all day long?
We got picture after picture of her laughing it up with her Khala (maternal sister). They had a ton of fun together going on outings, trying new foods and getting lots of cuddles in. I’m so happy that my sister was willing to take time off work so we could have out little adventure. (And I don’t think she minded toooo much since she got all that time soaking up Nouri.)
There is a certain narcism in being parents. I have seen parents who actually want their kids to cry when they leave, as if they will prove that the kid loves them. Not healthy! Of course I want my baby to be attached to me and think I’m awesome. But I also want her to feel safe and comfortable in different situations because we have helped show her that the world is a safe and loving place. That is a lot of weight for a 13 month old but I do think babies respond to the environment we create for them. So even though it was weird to us that she didn’t notice we were gone at all, I felt strangely proud of that little independent firecracker.
We got home really late on the night we got back so we had to wait until the next morning to see Nouri. When she woke up, I expected a big smile, maybe even a laugh. Or maybe tears of anger for leaving her?
Nouri just put up her arms like she always does, I picked her up and she snuggled into my shoulder. It was like we had never left. A friend of mine told me that babies don’t really have a grasp on time, so you could have been gone an hour or ten days but they won’t really know the difference. After this experience, I believe that.
It was harder than I expected to finally leave Nouri but I’m so glad we did. We learned that it is ok to be away from your kid. The world doesn’t stop, they don’t fall apart and it is such a healthy thing to do. We also learned that We. Love. Nouri. So. Much. So even though it was awesome to have the new experiences that we did, we realized that we really, really love our life as being parents to her. When I booked this trip almost a year ago, I had thought that I would be in desperate need of a break. That parenting would steam roll us and we would have to go on some sort of trip to rediscover ourselves. Thankfully, that hasn’t been the case and the trip reaffirmed for us how grateful we are to have Nouri and how much we value our everyday domestic life.
I hope this helps someone who may be thinking of taking a solo or kid-free trip. Over the next week I will share pictures and stories from the trip. See you then!